E Double D Why?

Questions? Answers! Part Tres (I think that means three)

2012-01-15T12:28:00.000-08:00

Q: Lisa, what was your New Year's Resolution?

A: It was to not drink any Dr. Pepper. I made it about a week. A long, terrible, arduous, sad, angry week. Brandon threatened to divorce me if I didn't start drinking it again. (Not really, but he was probably thinking it.) I had to do it to save the marriage.

Q: Any other goals?

A: Well, if you hadn't noticed, my hair is quite a bit longer than it has been for quite some time. I'm going to try and grow it, so I can have long beautiful hair. Leg hair, that is.

Q: Gross. So how is school going for Brandon?

A: Brandon? Who is this Brandon? You mean the one who passes like a stranger in the night? I think he's busy, but I wouldn't know. He hasn't surfaced for a few days.

Q: What's Ryker doing right now?

A: I left him at St. Anne's homeless shelter this morning. Hopefully he's okay.

Q: I hear you buy a lotto ticket every time you are in Idaho. What would you do if you won the lottery?

A: I would pay all my bills off, pay all our family's bills off, and then live in a big mansion in a Maui. Anyone can come visit anytime. Oh and of course pay my tithing with it.

Q: Do you ever swear?

A: None of your $$%@*%$ business.

Q: Seen any good movies lately?

A: We watched The Departed last night. I resisted for many years, but I finally gave in, and it was excellent.

Q: Read any good books?

A: I just finished the Fallen series. That was pretty good.

Q: Do you like the Twilight books?

A: A bean burrito with the name "Pepe" written on it would be better written than Twilight.

Q: How's your seasonal depression this year?

A: Not bad actually. The mild winter and sunny days have definitely helped, as has heavy doses of medication. Just kidding. Light doses work just fine.

Q: Ryker is 18 months now. What sorts of things does he like?

A: He loves dogs. It's pretty much all he talks about. We ordered him a dog book that came in the mail this week. He's been completely out of control with it. I'm hoping he won't have to take it to college.

Q: Is he a busy child or a subdued child?

A: You could probably compare Ryker to a puppy. A puppy who has eaten a bag of sugar.

Q: What are Ryker's favorite things to eat?

A: He about has a seizure when he sees I've made brownies. He loves red, yellow, and orange peppers (hey, did you know that babies don't digest those really well?). He loves ravioli, bananas, apples, pizza, pancakes, and mashed potatoes.

Q: How did you become so super amazing and talented in every aspect of life?

A: Lots of years of hard work. I spent many hears honing my mockery skills towards people who act like they are better than everyone else. It's made me a much better person.

Q: Thanks for answering some questions. I know you're super busy with your 6 day weekend and everything.

Christmas

2011-12-28T10:28:00.000-08:00

How did my pictures get so unorganized? Why is the font blue and underlined?
Questions that can never be answered, I suppose. This picture was Ryker delivering gifts to people on Christmas morning.

We had a fun Christmas. We went to Idaho and stayed with Brandon's family and had a great time with everyone. Here are some other pictures of things we've done over the past few weeks. Like I said, these are pictures that are not in order.

Me with the beautiful Brynn on Christmas.

Christmas Village

Can't you tell how excited I am that it's Christmas?

Ryker and Cooper playing and having baths together.

Sophie's 1st birthday party. Ryker is again, very excited.

Ryker and Brynn

Cooper, the smiliest baby ever.

Kangaroo Zoo. I took Ryker here last week. It has a bunch of blow-up toys. He had fun, even though I had to carry him up everything.

Christmas Village

Ryker and Cooper being rough and tumble.

Ryker and Coop getting pulled on the sled. We didn't stay out very long because Idaho was cold enough to freeze your very soul.

Ryker on Christmas morning.

Pulling the sled.

The end.

2011-12-10T07:05:00.000-08:00

I repent. Seriously. I will be better about updating my blog. I will! Here's some pictures I took this morning of Ryker. Excuse the bedhead and constantly bruised forehead. If your head was as big as his, you'd run into a lot of things too.

Here's some things going on around here lately:

- Ryker will be 17 months on the 20th. One more month until nursery. Woo hoo!
- He is very determined and independent. And sometimes a little stubborn. I think he takes after his daddy on that one.
- Brandon just finished fall semester. He's got 3 semesters left at Weber and then off to grad school we go. Where we will end up, nobody knows. He gets almost perfect grades, and never fails to remind me that his college grades are better than mine ever were. It's true. I was never a good studier like he is.
- I'm still working half weeks. It's nice to get out of the house and go to school, but I'm always ready for my long weekend.

That's all for now. Ryker's trying to climb out of his high chair.

Zion and a Fall Ride

2011-10-26T13:33:00.000-07:00

Ryker and I have been very busy the last few weeks. We went to Zion with my parents and Erica and Sophie. I think Zion is definitely one of the most beautiful places. Here are a few pictures from when we went. Brandon is so busy with school and work, that Ryker and I have to go on a lot of our adventures without him. It makes us learn how to be independent!

Ryker was busy talking on his "phone" at Weeping Rock.

We also went on a bike ride down the entire canyon. It was so beautiful. And hot.

What a lover.

Last weekend we also went on a four-wheeler ride up to the top of Ben Lomond. I'd never been on this trail, but it was very nice.

Us at the top.

Ryker rode on my lap. Don't judge us.

Fall foliage.

Treehouse

2011-10-09T18:59:00.000-07:00

I took Ryker to the Treehouse Museum the other day. He loved it. I was exhausted. Here are some pictures I took while we were there.

In the schoolhouse. That's my boy.

In the tipi.

He was not a big fan of this horse.

He loved the fire engine, but people's dumb kids kept pushing him off. I think that's what I had the hardest time with at the Treehouse. People have bratty kids.

Ryker is learning at an early age how to be domesticated in the kitchen.

I've been so bad at blogging lately. We've been so busy! School is busy this semester for Brandon, and for me as well. I'm really liking 3rd grade, and I've got a great class this year. Brandon has class 3 nights a week, works all day, and then does his BYU games on Saturdays. He's got a busy schedule!

Till next time....

Blue Da-Buh-Dee-Da-Buh-Die

2011-09-02T19:22:00.000-07:00

I gave Ryker a cookie with blue frosting on it. A BYU cookie. Then I went about doing other things and when I looked back at him, I found him covered in blue. His bathwater ended up quite blue as well.

Speaking of BYU cookies,

Tomorrow is the season opener. Brandon suggested to his boss that they have a party at work to celebrate, and she actually agreed. Hence, the BYU cookies. He also showed everyone at the party a video clip to pump them up for BYU football.

Every few days Brandon tells me something like "It's Jake Heaps Day."

?????

You know, 9 days until the season opener, Jake Heaps is number 9. Duh. How very dumb of you.
Today happens to be "Jordan Pendleton Day".

When I tell you that Brandon is excited, I don't think you quite understand.

I realized last night that Brandon gets more excited for BYU football than a child on Christmas Eve. Nothing in this world compares to the excitement/obnoxiousness in our house in the week prior to kickoff. Really it starts several months before, but the heat is on this week. It's insanity around here. Brandon will be sitting at the computer reading articles and watching clips for hours. Sometimes people get up in the night in our house to get a drink of water, and what they find is Brandon on CougarBoard in the middle of the night. Really, most people are on the internet in the night doing bad things, my husband is on CougarBoard.

Brandon's traffic on CougarBoard has probably tripled, if that's even possible. Cougarboard is a weird thing. The other day he referred to me as his "HCBW". It means "hot cougarboard wife". They have their own special language on Cougarboard. Like "NTTAWWT" (not that there's anything wrong with that) and "SGC" (Staley got cut).

These people are freaks.

I am a BYU fan. Brandon is a BYU fanatic. FANATIC. I told him in all seriousness the other day that he has a problem. He laughed and said "NTTAWWT".

Some more pictures

2011-08-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

I took Ryker over to see the ducks at Beus Pond the other day. He wasn't really sure what to think.

Yesterday I got to go boating with Erica's family. We had a lot of fun. This is David hanging his spider legs over the front of the tube while being pulled. It was hilarious.

I'm always afraid of being grabbed by a big tiger muskie while swimming in Pineview.

Yours truly

I'm a big wimp when it comes to speed and the possibility of getting hurt. I was not going that fast on the tube.

This facial expression reads, "In two weeks I'll be back in school, and this beautiful day on the water will only be a distant memory....." So sad.

Pictures as requested

2011-08-08T21:13:00.000-07:00

This is what happens when we turn our backs for a minute.

The Stephens Chronicles: The Caddy

2011-08-06T19:08:00.000-07:00

This was not the exact Stephens Cadillac, but this one is very similar, and the same color.

I decided that I'm going to start sharing the stories of my youth. There are just so many good ones that it would be a shame to keep them to myself. The first story I will tell you, I have entitled "The Caddy".

I want to say I was about 15 or 16 when this particular scar on my teenage years occurred. I remember that my parents were in the market for a new vehicle. We always had vans when I was growing up, but by this time we were all growing up and I guess maybe my parents thought it might be time for a smaller car. Cruel, cruel irony. Anyway, I remember they went car shopping one day, and came home and told us about this car they found.

"It's a Cadillac, " they had said.

I thought to myself, wow, a Cadillac. It must be really nice. My uncle had a red Cadillac convertible, and he was a doctor. We must really be moving up in the world.

"It rides like a dream!" my mom had said.

My parents went back to the dealership to bring back our Cadillac. I remember them honking from the driveway when they got home. We all ran out to see it.

Have you ever seen a movie, where someone from Texas pulls up in this gigantic Cadillac with horns on the front, and honks their horn and it plays a little tune?

Well, this was similar, except without the bull horns and without the horn song.

I was horrified. This car was like, 30 yards long and about 12 yards wide. And it had like these fins that came up where the tail lights were.

My parents proudly drove this car until I was out of high school. They would say, "Let's take the Caddy!" As if it were a treat to ride in this. They said it rode like a dream, and it did. A dream where you are in a boat, and you barf, which is what happened to me once after driving too long in the Caddy (mixed in with one too many donuts and Dr. Pepper).

It also had this weird smell. Old people smell.

It had six seats in it. Six large, leather seats. Three in the front, and three in the back.

I hated being seen in it. It was so humiliating. It was like riding in a hearse.

At our senior Prom, Brandon was sick with the flu and couldn't drive. My mom drove us to Prom in THIS car, and dropped us off at the front doors of the Union Station in Salt Lake for the dance.

And what was worse? My parents used to hook the tent trailer up to the back of it and we'd pull the trailer with the Cadillac. The engine in this car was just as big as the car itself. I swear it had about 80 cylinders. When you pressed the gas pedal it would roar like an east wind.

When they sold the Caddy, I remember it sold in about 5 minutes. It's probably being driven around Ogden somewhere, with really little tires lines with very expensive rims, and it probably has hydraulics now too. Ssss, it goes up. Ssss, it goes down.

This tale has been brought to you by Honda, which is what my parents drive now. And we all borrow it because it's so cool.

Lonesome.

2011-08-04T14:35:00.001-07:00

I realize this is a blurry picture, but this face shows our lonesomeness.

Brandon is gone this weekend to Eddy Man Camp. Lots of women would be thrilled at the aspect of their husbands leaving for 4 days, but I am not. If Brandon were a deadbeat, or lazy, that would be one thing. But since he's my right hand man, I'm not sure how I'm going to function without him. Who will read Ryker his bedtime story? Who will have man time with Ryker after his bath? Who will protect me from the ghost in Ryker's bedroom? (It's true. Someone tapped me on the arm when I was rocking Ryker to sleep one day. And someone turned on his singing glow worm another day.) Who is going to watch Rocky IV with me tonight??!!! Who am I going to make dinner for and who is going to unload the dishwasher? This is just terrible.

Anyway.

Ryker had his 1 year checkup today. Here are his stats:

- He weighs 25 pounds 9 oz. and is in the 80th percentile for weight.
- He is 31 inches long. This is the 80th percentile for height.
- He has a really big head. Off the charts big head.

Also,
- He has two webbed toes on each foot.
- He has really big feet.
- He says woof, dog, ball, and binky (deedee) on command
- He LOVES his daddy. When Brandon comes home from work every day, you would think that the world has just stopped, and Ryker puts out his arms as if to say, "Father! Oh! Please save me from this horrible woman who has done so little for me today!"

Did you know that I go back to school 2 weeks from tomorrow?

I'm screaming inside my head, don't you hear it?

A smattering of pictures.

2011-07-22T09:08:00.000-07:00

What a week we've had! I'll start going backwards. Why? Because that's how the pictures uploaded.

First and foremost: Ryker said his first word on command. The word: WOOF. Now every time he sees any animal, he says, "woof". Hilarious.

Yesterday we took Ryker to the Willow Park Zoo in Logan after we had some lunch at Angie's Diner (dee-lish). He enjoyed the animals and "woofed" at them the entire time.

A Brandon eagle. I mean, a bald eagle.

This pelican (at least, that's what I think it was, I'm no ornithologist or anything) did not want to be friends. Yes, I did just google "one who studies birds". The word is ornithologist.

This week Brittany came and stayed with us. Let me also add that we really enjoyed having Brittany stay. Talk about someone who is so sweet, so kind, and never complains. We had a really fun week with lots of laughs and good times. We went to Lagoon and rode on almost every ride.

We also went four-wheeling up to Bountiful Peak and down to Farmington Flats. We took the Skyline Drive trail, because Farmington Canyon is still closed because of the mudslides. It was such a beautiful ride. I think we ended up going about 40 miles total. There's a ravine a little ways up that's around a really steep curve. At the bottom of the ravine is the wreckage of many cars in what were obviously some fatal crashes over the years. A somewhat creepy reminder to be careful.

Farmington Flats

The vantage point from Bountiful Peak.

July 20th was Lover's FIRST birthday. I can't believe how fast this first year has gone. I relived the day of his birth all day. Best day of my life, hands down. These are a few of the things we did for his birthday. Can you believe how much a baby grows in the first year. I did some math, and if I grew as much as Ryker did this first year, I would weigh 502 pounds and be 8 feet 9 inches tall. Not to mention I would probably have a head the size of a beach ball.

We went to Surf and Swim after his party in the park.

Erica with the babies.

And right here should be the picture of Brittany and Ryker that I just accidentally deleted. Sorry Britt. I'll put it on facebook.

Pig out.

Can you tell I made the cake? Very professional. At least it tasted delicious. It was a funfetti cake.

Busy weeks

2011-07-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

I love Ryker's face in this picture. He looks like a toothless little old man.

We've had a busy week. Monday we (meaning the adults in the house) went to Seven Peaks and rode waterslides all day. We finished up the day at Chuck-a-Rama in Provo.
The next day we recovered.
Wednesday we took the babies swimming at Surf 'n Swim.
Thursday we went to the midnight showing of Harry Potter.
Today we were out all day, going to the farmer's market and then shopping around the city.

Next week this is what we have to look forward to:

Ryker's aunt Brittany is coming to stay for the most awesome week ever.
Sunday is the Weber State fireworks.
We are going to Lagoon Monday.
Tuesday we're four wheeling.

Wednesday RYKER TURNS ONE. sniffle

Thursday we'll try and go to a movie.
We're going to try and do something in the mountains on Saturday. I suggested Bear Lake. I guess we'll see.

Kisses from Lover.

Catching up

2011-07-07T21:03:00.000-07:00

This is a picture I snapped as Ryker was trying to wrestle the camera away from me.

Best buddies. It might seem like we have a lot of toys, so I'll tell you, that yes, we have more toys than a child could ever want, and every single one of them was given to us. I've never bought a single toy for Ryker. Okay, I did buy him a squishy squid at Dollar Tree, but that is all.

We took the couch, the coffee table, and totes and blocked off an entire area of the house for the babies to play in and not be able to escape.

Some mornings I'm really tired, so I lay on the couch and doze while Ryker is playing, which is fine, because he can't escape. I was in and out of sleep the other morning when I realized I hadn't heard him for a few minutes. I opened my eyes and there he was, sound asleep on the floor. It made me laugh and feel bad at the same time.

This is the face Ryker makes when he thinks he's scaring you. It is so funny. He grunts when he does it and his scrunches up his fingers like he's a witch.

Here's what's been going on here lately:

-I'm enjoying my summer at home with Ryker. It's nice to be in an air conditioned house.

-We closed on our house last week. Woo hoo!! And boy, did we lose a lot of money on it!!!!

-Ryker has 4 teeth coming in at once. He has been difficult, to say the least.

-I realized that crazy begets crazy.

- I also realized that there are very, very bad people in this world.

- I ran 4 miles tonight. Just sayin'.

- I hate it when Lucky Charms do not come with enough marshmallows.

The end.

Two Yuck Factors: Boogers and Cats

2011-06-21T14:43:00.001-07:00

I feel like I haven't really had anything new going on, thus the lack of blogging. I did take Ryker to the park today, but this little kid wiped a huge booger on the bars, and it grossed me out. It's probably still there. We've just been busy with our little routine. Brandon's first Father's Day came and went, and his birthday is coming up next week. He wants to go see BYU play at Ole Miss in September. If I had the money, I would book that trip for him in a heartbeat and give it to him for his birthday present.

Here are some pictures I took of Ryker today. He's going to be ONE next month. I can't even believe it. Here's what he has been up to:

- says Mama and Dada (he says dada way more though)

- he crawls everywhere and pulls himself up to anything

-he chewed the side of his crib and scratched it up

-he loves spaghetti and Otter pops

- he loves going on stroller rides

-he still only has two bottom teeth, but I think he has some coming in on top

- he sleeps 11-12 hours a night

- he saves all his energy for the whole week for when we go to church on Sundays

- he loves to give kisses, but he bites if you kiss for too long

One small side story. I came in from the backyard today with Ryker (because he barfed on me), and I saw a small dark object move in the entryway. I went and looked, just in time to see some nasty black cat dart back into our bedrooms. This is NOT my cat. I have no cats, because I hate cats. We don't have any animals, for the record. I don't even know how he got in. We found him under our bed. David eventually got him out. I tried to flash him with the camera and STUN him, but it didn't work out like I thought it would. Prepare to pay the price, cat, if you come in again!

Hiking

2011-06-08T15:34:00.000-07:00

Don't you think it's amazing that this is our view every night during our walk? Ogden is my favorite place.

Ryker and I went on a hike today with David, Erica, and Sophie. Brandon was at work. We attempted to start up the Malan's Peak trail, but we didn't make it very far. Ryker added about 30 pounds on our backs, and I was about to die. I won't show you the picture of my sweaty shirt that I took at the end of the hike.

This picture is taken 2 blocks east of our house. I love where we live.

This child weighs so much!

Ryker fell asleep in the pack. Poor baby. His head was flopping all over the place.

Keys in the Car

2011-06-06T12:03:00.000-07:00

Before I get into my story, here are some pictures.

I ran a 5k with my sister this weekend. Click here to find out her amazing journey.

Very sleepy Lover.

The other day we went back to the old house to check on things, making sure there was no homeless people or large animals that had gotten in. You know, just the usual. Brandon went in the house before I did, because I was putting on my makeup in the car. When I got out, I got Ryker, hit the automatic locks on the door, and went inside.

Not too much later, Brandon said something like this, "Will you go unlock the car? I don't have the keys with me."

Uh oh.

In my mind I saw both sets of keys to the Jeep sitting in the center console, locked inside the car.

How to break this news to Brandon? Brandon, who is one of the most high-strung, over-the-top, red personalities that has ever existed.

"Honey," I said, "I don't want you to freak out, but I have some bad news...."

I won't tell you exactly what was said (yelled) after this. But, it wasn't pretty. In almost ten years that I have either dated or been married to Brandon, I have never seen him this mad. Our doors were open too. Imagine all of the following happening at once:

- A flock of birds fly from a bush.

- Somewhere, a kitten falls over dead.

- A baby in the womb sheds tears.

- The Angel Moroni falls off the temple.

- The leaves on the trees immediately die and fall to the ground.

I quickly determined that Brandon was either A) going to kill me in my sleep or B) divorce me. It's a good thing he went out with his friend McCall, who is a police officer, that night to see a movie. McCall knows that if I ever end up dead, Brandon is the prime suspect. I think Brandon decided that option A wasn't going to work, and option B would take too much energy. I'm glad he's speaking to me now, though.

Hey, did you know that insurance covers a locksmith if you lock your keys in the car? This is probably the only reason I'm still here.

Busy as a bee...

2011-05-25T20:01:00.000-07:00

We have had a very busy few weeks. This is what happens when I work full-time. Our house falls apart, laundry piles up, dinner doesn't get made, and most importantly, the blog doesn't get updated. This is why I tell Brandon I can't work full-time. It's because our quality of life is extremely low when I am gone all week. It's true. However, 53 hours from now, I'll be a free woman. FREE!!

Whenever you see school kids running and screaming on the last day of school, just remember, that I'm right behind them running faster and screaming louder.

Here's what's gone on in the past few weeks:

- My license and our car registration expired. Okay, so I didn't get either of them renewed. Fine. Don't judge me and my empty wallet. Then I got pulled over and ticketed right in front of my school. I was kind of afraid I would get arrested, but I jokingly told the cop not to arrest me because it would be bad P.R. if all the kids walking to school saw me getting handcuffed. He didn't really laugh, but whatever. Needless to say, I was free to go (with a ticket).

- Brandon sprained his ankle about 12 times in the last few weeks. In the most recent fall, I was waiting in the car at the gas station as I saw him disappear beside the car. I saw him sitting on the ground rocking back and forth in the store-front reflection. That was a bad one. If anyone knows a good ankle specialist, let me know.

- I got bacterial bronchitis. Nasty stuff. I almost died. My chest still hurts when I breathe. It's a good thing I can hold my breath for hours at a time. That seems to help the pain.

- I've been having to jump through lots of required hoops and pay lots of money to get my teaching license renewed, since it expires this year. The paperwork was due May 1st, hopefully I get it turned in tomorrow.... haa.

- Ryker discovered the wonders of the toilet paper roll today. So did Brandon.

Here's also a few of the things we've been up to:

This is Ryker's cousin, Cooper.

Three babies, one house, one weekend.

Get these babies out of my crib!! Heathens!!

This is a picture of Ryker, of Ryker in 25 years, and of Ryker in 72 years.

Lovers.

Ryker and Grandma Eddy

Cutest baby ever.

He was a little angry at this moment. Probably because I wasn't giving him another bite of banana cream pie.

Tiptoe through the Tulips

2011-05-10T11:31:00.001-07:00

Ryker is almost ten months old. He weighs 22 and a half pounds, is 29 and a half inches long, and his head is so big it went off the charts at the doctor's office.

The doctor also said this to me, "With a 5'9" mother (which is my height), you should expect to have a son that is 6'4" or 6'5". But your husband is only 5'9", so Ryker will probably only reach about 5'11". "

Sorry Ryker, looks like you're going to be a true Eddy....

But at least you're happy about it...

Ryker's new thing is to try and make out with you. He likes to give long, wet, sloppy kisses.

We went down to see the flowers at Temple Square last week. They were superb this year.

Sophie.

Ryker and his cousins.

We've also been spending our afternoons in the backyard on warm days. Ryker loves to be outside, but he doesn't really care for the feel of grass.

The Gandalf Game and Bathtime

2011-05-01T18:08:00.000-07:00

About 7 or 8 years ago, Brandon bought this life-sized cardboard cutout of Gandalf from the Lord of the Rings movie. He thought it would be really cool to have in his room. (Keep in mind, we were NOT married at this point.) He quickly found out how much this life-sized figure can scare people. Sometimes Gandalf goes to the storage room for a couple of years, and then he makes a reappearance every so often. Sometimes he's standing outside the shower when you get out. Sometimes he's standing in the kitchen when you get up for a drink of water in the night. Sometimes he's standing by your bed when you wake up. Anyway, we've been playing the Gandalf game this week in our house, and boy has it been hilarious. He's made an appearance in closets, on the stairs, and around dark corners. When you come to our house, you better hope the Gandalf Game is not in full swing, or be prepared to scream as you turn the corner. One time, my mom was dropping something at my house in the morning, and so I set Gandalf right inside the doorway. I then went out to get the paper, and in that time span, I forgot Gandalf was there. I ended up scaring myself to death.

In other news, Ryker and Sophie got in the bath last night with their bumbo chairs (which actually float, but don't tip over). It was hilarious.

Sophie's was mad at Ryker for a moment.

Here's some pictures we took after church today. Ryker wasn't in a great mood.

Here's Brandon's sister Brittany with Ryker. She got to come visit him this weekend. (Again, Ryker was not in a good mood.)

We are alive.

2011-04-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

What a busy couple of weeks!!

1. We moved! Yay for us!

2. Brandon took finals and finished school with a 3.86 gpa. Not too shabby.

3. I am working full-time until the end of the school year. (I WILL survive).

4. I have been studying for my Praxis exam. I take it on Saturday. Pray for me.

5. Ryker turned 9 months old and woke up about 5 times last night.

6. As of tonight, he can officially crawl. Tear. Sniffle. Must get a fence for the stairs.

7. I've been busy getting prepared for the royal wedding. I've been brushing up on my history of British monarchy, so I don't look stupid, just in case I get a last minute invite to the ceremony.

Here's a dose of some Loverage tonight.

Look at this huge room to play in!

This is typical fare for our house. Ryker plays, Sophie cries. Ryker tries to claw her eyes out, Sophie cries louder.

"How dare you hold my hand! You heathen!"

I have a magnolia tree (yes, a magnolia tree!) in my new front yard.

I love Ogden and its old houses.

This is my old-fashioned bathroom with a chandelier. Now when we use the potty, we get to be fancy.

The new backyard. You can't see it very well, but we are about two blocks from the mountain. If the earthquake hits, we will die.

Here is a little video of Ryker's crawl tonight:

p.s. Mother-in-law now it's your turn to update your blog.

Yes Virginia, I did have a childhood.

2011-04-11T16:20:00.000-07:00

What a craaaaaazy weekend we had. Not crazy in a good way. No, not at all. Crazy things that I refuse to share. You'll just have to wonder. Needless to say, my birthday has come and gone. We went to lunch and then swimming (yes, swimming!) with my family.

My two lovers.

Ryker didn't hate the water, but I wouldn't say he loved it either. I really need to get my hair done. Those roots are bad.

My dad and I worked the other night on converting a very small fraction of the vast amount of slides into digital format. How did we do this, you ask? It was extremely complicated. He would shine the slide, and then I would take a picture of it with my camera.

Anyway, I'm here to prove to you, that YES, pictures of my childhood DO indeed exist!!!!

This is David. Don't be fooled by this innocent smile, he bit me all the time.

This is me and my sister, Lauralee. Don't judge me for my double chin.

My mommy broke my arm. HA just kidding. I was naughty and snuck down to my friend's house, and I fell off the wet trampoline. Moral of the story: If you break your arm, you will get presents.

David.

I'm not in this picture, this was before I came around, but I am loving my dad's outfit.

This is David with a cat we found, who was later named Lincoln. We found the cat and fed him milk, and my mom was very angry. She made us take him down to our friends' house and give him to them (coincidentally, same friends as the broken arm incident).

We went on so many camping trips and hikes when I was growing up.

What an adorable child.

This must have been the day we found the cat.

I did not have a mushroom haircut, my hair was actually really long.

Look at this fox in its natural habitat.

My dad and Lauralee

I know you're loving side ponytail and big bow. It was the 90s, what can we say?

And now....

Ryker in comparison to me and Brandon. (He overwhelmingly looks like Brandon, I know.)

April brings Joyousness

2011-04-03T20:37:00.000-07:00

April is going to be a great month for us.

1. Today marks the beginning of my birthday week. Festivities run all week in our house.

2. I only have to work one day (tomorrow) and then I don't have to work until next Tuesday. Yay for spring break!

3. We had an offer on our house about a month ago (we kept this hush hush), and we found out that we will be able to close within the next couple of weeks. WOOOOOOT!!!! This is two years in the making!!!!! If it falls through I'm going to burn the house down. See if I don't.

4. We found a big house with a big yard east of Harrison in the hills near Ogden High to lease. We are splitting the house with my brother David, his wife Erica, and baby Sophie. If they make trouble I'll just lock the basement door so they can't escape.

5. This means that we get to move in 12 days!!! Yes!! Yes!!! Yes!!!

6. Brandon will be done with school (for the semester!). This is a great thing, because he's really mean when he's in school. It's not like working 40 hours a week and taking full-time classes (plus Monday pizza/family night, Tuesday night class and soccer, Wednesday basketball, Thursday date night, being a dad, being a husband, being a friend, packing our house, studying for finals) are that much to ask. Jeez. He acts like he's so busy.

Anyway, here's some pictures of Lover today. He has been doing this weird old man face lately. He looks up at the ceiling and then scrunches his face up and closes his eyes. It's pretty hilarious, especially now that he's got two teeth on the bottom.

Today's pics

2011-03-29T21:41:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures of Lover today.

This is Ryker and his cousin Cooper. Ryker really likes to pull on faces of any baby. He goes for the eyes and the mouth. It's lucky that Cooper had any eyeballs left.

I generally dislike it when people show pictures of their dirty children, but we gave Ryker an Oreo the other night, and it was so funny that I had to take a picture. The Oreo was like mush when he was done with it. I dared Brandon to eat a piece of it, which he did.

He can also finally fit into a little suit I bought him before he was born. He was so adorable in it.

Well, that's about it. It's always very late at night whenever I update our blog, and I'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open!

Spring Break Part 2

2011-03-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from the Disneyland portion of our trip! Let me tell you, having a baby at Disneyland is the way to go. You do what is called a "child swap", and on all the rides that you can't take a baby on, you go get a child swap ticket. One person waits outside while the other person walks through the exit (or the Fastpass line, depending on how nice the ride attendants were), they immediately get on the ride, and then they come out and the other person walks up the exit and gets on the ride. Some attendants were stingy and wanted one of us to wait in the regular line (jerks!), so we'd just go back later when a different attendant was there and get another ticket. Shhh, don't tell anyone. Other times we would go through the single rider entrances and get right on the rides also. We waited in almost no lines the entire time (and it was very busy while we were there, lines were all about an hour long). True, we didn't get to go on a whole lot of rides together, but at least we still got to ride. Ryker was great at Disneyland also. He rode in his stroller and had very few tantrums. He was a trooper.

I'd never been on the "Small World" ride. But it's true, it is a small world, after all.

We went on the Matterhorn with my nephews and laughed hysterically the whole time at their reactions. We also went on it while the fireworks were going one night, and that was really cool.

Ryker slept with me the whole week in the trailer. Spoiled baby.

I show you this picture, because above the spot where you wait for Pirates of the Caribbean, there is a staircase. I noticed at the top of the staircase there is a set of doors. Above the door is written "Disney's Dream Suite". Google it. This is somewhere I must stay before I die.

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!

The Haunted Mansion!

Ryker LOVED the Merry-go-round.

I snapped a picture of us while we were on Thunder Mountain. Attractive, I know.

Brandon did get his beloved lollipop. I wouldn't let him get the big one because it had 170 grams of sugar.

Poor tired baby.

This is at California Adventure. My favorite thing in this picture is Ryker's face. You have to look closely, but he has a funny little smile.

This is Brandon right before take-off on California Screamin'. This is one of my favorite rides, but Brandon got sick on that one and on Space Mountain. What a sissy.

A moment of sadness.

At California Adventure.

Ryker did not care for Duffy the Bear.

We put about 5 stuffed animals in front of him in the store, and he reached for Tigger.

Brandon was unhappy because I kept taking pictures of him.

SunDrop. The gem of the South. We were walking past the 99 cent store and Brandon squealed like a girl when he walked past the window and ran in. We ended up bringing home 10 two-liters of SunDrop.

I'd never been to Tom Sawyer's Island, but it was pretty fun.

My parents, Jonah, Logan, and Ryker.

Eating at Hungry Bear.

On the Winnie the Pooh ride.

Spring Break Part 1

2011-03-21T11:25:00.001-07:00

We headed out on our 1,430 mile journey last Sunday.

This was our itinerary that my dad taped to the side of the motorhome.

This is what Brandon and Ryker did most of the time. It's a good way to travel. Don't tell anyone my child wasn't in a safety restraint.

When we got there, we went to Newport Beach just as the sun was going down.

This is Ryker and his cousins, Jonah and Logan, in the wagon on Newport Pier.

We had 3 day park hopper passes to Disneyland, but after 2 days we decided we needed to split up our Disneyland-ing and go to the beach. This is Doheny Beach. It was completely torn up from the tsunami. It had about a 10 foot drop off, and then an actual river running parallel to the beach. It was really weird. We ended up moving down the beach about a mile or so.

Ryker really didn't care for the feel of sand. Even though he's smiling in the pictures, he didn't like the sand very much.

This is Brandon heading out to the 55 degree water.

This is his sand fortress with a moat around it. My nephew Jonah came and destroyed it. Jonah then went back into the water, only to be knocked over by the waves. It was karma for 3-year-olds.

Ryker was okay until the water came over his feet. The picture below was the result.

Stay tuned for Part 2 of Spring Break.

Wispies and belly button lint.

2011-03-08T21:18:00.000-08:00

Ryker is gearing up for his big trip to Disneyland. I bought him a little hat so his head doesn't get sunburned. He's kind of an albino child. PLUS, I kind of, well, jeez, um, cut his hair, and um, messed up a just a wee little bit. It's FINE everyone, I just cut it a little shorter than my liking. And I might have left the sides long, not because they look long, because he really has very thin hair on the sides, so it's almost impossible to cut, but there are wispies sticking out. Short on top, wispy on sides. At least he has a hat.

Anyway, here's the happenings of the week:

- Ryker's first tooth broke through. It's a jaggedy little thing poking up from the bottom gum.

- I have to work 5 DAYS this week so I can have all of next week off for our vacation. It's cruel, really. I don't know how people do this.

- Brandon just showed me all the belly button lint that he accumulated today.

- Brandon and I are doing an exercise contest this month. Whoever exercises the most minutes by the end of the month gets some cash to spend on only themselves. Right now he's 75 minutes ahead of me. I'm thinking of strategically placing toys on the floor after he goes to bed in the path to the bathroom. I've got to stop him somehow.

- I have 23 working days left until school gets out for the summer.

- Good things are beginning to happen for us....

....I guess you'll just have to wait and see....

Lots of things.

2011-03-03T22:22:00.000-08:00

Ryker met his new cousin Cooper over the weekend. They were instant pals.

Ryker and Cooper and Grandma and Grandpa Noel

I eat little babies! Nom nom nom.

And now...an announcement....

We are going to Disneyland in a matter of days! Wooooooot!!! I'll have to refuse Tarzan's advances when we get there. Yes, we have a history, but that was the past. I'm happily married now. Our relationship was based merely on adventure. It would have never worked out.

We are making the journey with a total of TEN of us in my mom and dad's motorhome. It's a good thing I'm taking my trident so we can spear those who are disagreeable along the way. We are taking Ryker (who is almost 8 months old!). He said he didn't want to stay home alone, so we decided to bring him.

Brandon, who is spread like too little butter on a big piece of bread, is in great need of a vacation. I've been a little worried about him actually. He keeps leaving at night during full moons, he's very volatile, and he's gotten really hairy all of the sudden. Plus, his skin has turned a different color. I would describe it as more of a russet. He's super muscly, and he feels like he has a fever. I don't know what's gotten into him. Weird. I prefer Eddy to Jacob anyway.

Anyway, moving on. Some people in the family have gotten just a little carried away on the photo booth application. Just sayin'. Here's a small sampling out of the 300 pictures to choose from...

They just told Logan and Jonah there was no Tooth Fairy.

Sophie on her first roller coaster ride.

We were imagining our faces if they gave teachers a raise. Ha ha.

This is a timeless piece of the Warhol flavor.

I don't think Logan has much of a taste for flying.

I'm thinking of getting plastic surgery to look like this.

Later alligator.

Pocket checkers and pocket emptiers.

2011-02-23T20:39:00.000-08:00

What does this shirt and Chapstick have in common?

Anyone? Anyone? I get the clothes out of the dryer to fold them, and sometimes I encounter a shirt(s) or pants(s) like this. That's right. For nearly 5 years now, this has been one of the top arguments in our house. I. Do. Not. Check. Pockets. If it's strewn on the floor, it's communicating to me that those pants are ready to be washed and that whatever is in them is not important enough to be taken out. I do not accommodate lazy pocket emptiers! I've washed wallets, money (I made $11 the other day doing the wash), temple recommends, gum, credit cards, wallets, money, and wallets. Oh yeah, and Chapstick. Really it's a battle of wills. Brandon is better at everything than me, and he always wins anything we play, and he's rarely wrong, so I figure, if I hold out on this pocket-emptying feud, one day I will win and he will start emptying his pockets. I will prevail. Even if it ruins every piece of clothing I own. It can be done!

Here is Lover, doing what he does best, being naked and showing off his distinct man boobs.

He likes to play with the measuring cups. Sometimes he barfs in them. I just stick them back in the drawer and call it good.

Sometimes I wonder how much an adult would have to drool in the day for their chest and shirt to be completely saturated with saliva.

Do I have something dripping off my chin?

This picture could have so many captions. Perhaps he's enjoying the beat of some gangsta rap.

Maybe he's conducting an orchestra.

Or he's having a spiritual moment.

Or he's closing his eyes to give you a big, wet, slobbery kiss.

The Praxis II is ruining my life.

2011-02-18T19:49:00.000-08:00

I have to take this test.

The Praxis II.

Just the name of it sends shivers down my spine. This is a test I have to pass before the end of my third year teaching, in order to keep my job. Everybody has to do it. I have procrastinated.

This is my third year, and I am taking the test on April 30th. Way to leave it until the last minute, Lisa.

I went to a meeting about tips for test taking about a year ago. They said, "Study your notes from college."

Excuse me? You are assuming that I actually took notes in college AND that I kept them. I sat at the table where we ate candy and laughed through every class.

Then I went to another meeting a couple of months ago. They gave us a packet of papers. 30 pages. They said, "If you have everything on this memorized, you'll do fine."

Now you are assuming that I have good study habits. I'm pretty sure I have adult-onset ADD. I can't even sit through a movie. Church is even worse.

My study guide has questions on it like:

How might a teacher apply some of Lev Vygotsky's ideas about scaffolding and direct instruction in the classroom?
What are some examples of appropriate situations for grouping students heterogeneously? Homogeneously?
How does a teacher translate curriculum goals and discipline-specific scope and sequence frameworks into unit and lesson plans with objectives, activities, and assessments appropriate for the students being taught?

Oh, and by the way, it's multiple choice, and then a written essay test. 4 scenario questions, 3 short answers in each essay. If my calculations are correct, that means I'm writing 12 "short" essays and finishing a multiple choice section.

And it has to be done in 2 hours or less.

This means I may be working in the grocery store, come August.

Pray for me. Hard.

Morality Cupcakes and Peekaboo

2011-02-14T20:39:00.000-08:00

So sorry to Grandma Noel for not updating for many days!

Here are some pictures of Lover:

That's not the light you see shining off his hair. It's his actual hair color. It's so light, it gives off a glow that is comparable to the sun.

This is Kira's fetus, in cupcake form.

Kira and I had a grand time making cupcakes the other night.

I chose to make morality cupcakes. Yes, my cupcakes send messages of clean living. As you can see, I made cupcakes that say things like "Monogamy" and "Chastity" and "No drunk driving". I'm thinking of handing them out at the high school. Great idea, I know.

These are the special cupcakes I made for Catty and Lover. Can you believe I've never made cupcakes before? My skill is unmatched.

I also took a picture of Ryker's pizza fingers. I told my mom that someday his wedding ring will need to be funnel-shaped.

Here is a video of Ryker playing peekaboo.

30 Days (but not really)

2011-02-03T14:54:00.000-08:00

I saw this while I was randomly blog stalking. I will not spend 30 days on this. I'll do a few a day, and not necessarily consecutively. I have a hard time following through on things, as those of you who ever text me know. It takes me about an hour to remember to write and send a text message, if you're lucky to get a reply. I've thought maybe I have adult-onset ADD, if there is such a thing.

Day 0: The 30 Day Challenge Explanation and Description
Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts
Day 2: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 3: Your first love
Day 4: Your parents
Day 5: A song to match your mood
Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite movies
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: Favorite tv shows
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: Goals
Day 14: A picture of you last year - how have you changed?
Day 15: Bible verse
Day 16: Dream house
Day 17: Something you're looking forward to
Day 18: Favorite Place to Eat
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Picture of yourself ALL TIME Why?
Day 22: What's in your purse?
Day 23: Favorite Movie
Day 24: Something you've learned
Day 25: Put your iPod on shuffle, first 10 songs
Day 26: Your Dream Wedding
Day 27: Original Photo of the city you live in
Day 28: Something that stresses you out
Day 29: 3 Wishes
Day 30: a picture of yourself this day and 5 good things that happened since you started the challenge

So here's day 1 and 2 together.

A recent picture of myself...

And 15 interesting facts.

1. We are very late night people. We are usually up until well after midnight, even on nights we work. Don't ever be afraid to call us late.

2. Brandon and I have been together since we were 17.

3. I've taught 3 different grades in the 3 years I've been a teacher.

4. I am afraid of bats, rats, moths, and haunted houses.

5. I have very vivid dreams almost every night.

6. I have a bowl of cold cereal every single night before bed.

7. In the last couple of years, we have watched the entire series of Scrubs, Star Trek the Next Generation, Friends, Lost, The Office, Law and Order: SVU, and most recently, Dexter.

8. It's very hard for me to make friends.

9. If I can make you laugh, I consider our conversation a success.

10. I believe that Dr. Pepper is the nectar of the Gods.

11. I eat ketchup with my steak. I also eat hamburgers with only ketchup.

12. I can't wait for Reader's Digest to come every month.

13. I smack my hip into the sharp corner of at least one piece of furniture a week.

14. I have played the piano since I was 9 and the violin since I was 11. I haven't kept up on my violin as an adult very well though.

15. Brandon is the only person I've ever kissed.

The meaning behind the blog name: It's our last name, just written out in a playful way.

Here's some pictures of Lover today and a video of him giggling.

Can't we have one good picture?

2011-01-31T20:22:00.000-08:00

Monday is pizza night at our house. It has been such since the beginning of time. We dine on the living room floor whilst watching a movie and drinking Dr. Pepper, or some other form of liquid deliciousness. We laid on the floor tonight and tried to get a good family picture. Here are some of the results:

This one is my favorite. Brandon looks like a cabbage patch kid.

Below are a couple of pictures of the Lover tonight. He was exceedingly naughty this evening. Cried and cried. What a baby.

If you look closely, you can see things that resemble upside down slices of pizza on the end of Ryker's hands. Those would be his fingers.

Saturday we attended my brother and sister-in-law's sealing in the Logan temple. I have a very nice picture of them, but he forbade me long ago to ever put any sort of picture on the internet of him. So here are Ryker and Brandon outside the temple.

I also went skiing on Friday, which was spectacular. I always get made fun of for my hat, but it's the best skiing hat. I like to go skiing with my dad. He always waits at the bottom of the hill for me (this means he's much faster than me) and when I fall, he always helps me up after he's had a good laugh.

Finally, a good picture.

This week's pics

2011-01-26T19:26:00.000-08:00

Sometimes at school, I tell my kids if they're really good I'll show them pictures of Ryker. They LOVE to see pictures of him. 2nd graders are funny. It's been hard for me to get used to them. They wiggle constantly and if they're not talking to their neighbors, they're talking to themselves. Anyway, I was showing them some pictures of Ryker this week and they were all ooing and ahhing. I heard one little girl say quietly to her neighbor, "I wish I was Mrs. Eddy's baby!" It made me laugh.

Here's some pictures of Ryker this week.

He was very excited to be done with his nap.

Well hello.

Bed head.

Don't you just want to kiss that slobbery face?

Firsts

2011-01-22T20:59:00.000-08:00

Ryker has this glo-worm toy that sings and lights up. He falls asleep staring into it every night. The other day during his nap I found him with his arm stretched out, as if the glo-worm was his last hope of survival before sleep took him.

This week we had some firsts in our house:

-Ryker was sick for the first time. The doctor thought it was RSV. Turns out it was the flu, bronchiolitis, and a double ear infection. We've been isolated in our house ALL week. We had to have a suction machine delivered to our house too. If you'd like to visit, your first task will be to empty the suction canister.

-Brandon didn't flush the toilet for the first time EVER. The man never even leaves the lid up. I was so shocked I thought maybe someone in my family had come to visit or a villain had come and used our toilet and not flushed it. It's okay though, we've had no incidents of non-flushage since.

- I screamed in my sleep. I've never done that before. I dreamed a ghost in the form of a floating napkin flew into my mouth and the only way I could get it out was to scream it out. I heard the scream as I woke up, and it was the ugliest scream ever. Manly, really. I've never seen Brandon sit up that quickly out of a completely dead sleep. I was so embarrassed I couldn't get back to sleep because I was laughing so hard.

- I accidentally left the gas tank on empty for Brandon to find. Oh wait, I think I did that last week too...maybe before that also...ha ha ha.

- Brandon gave ME the silent treatment all the way from Ogden to Layton. This has never happened in our whole marriage. Why did he give me the silent treatment? I left the gas tank on empty. It's really my only flaw.

- Ryker ate sweet potatoes. And ice cream.

- Brandon woke me up in the middle of the night demanding to know where I hid his Chapstick.

- I gave Ryker his first haircut. It took me about two days.

Adios.

The things that matter

2011-01-20T11:00:00.000-08:00

Lover is 6 months old today. It has gone way too fast. I'm reminded of a quote that says, "Our lives passed away like as it were unto us a dream..." I always think of this whenever Ryker hits a milestone. I want to pause time. Life seems to fly by in nothing more than a blur, especially since Ryker was born. I'm pretty sure my friend Brandon and I were just 16 years old sitting next to each other in class, writing notes back and forth.

I think I've mentioned this several times, but being a mother is by far my favorite thing ever. I know some people find it monotonous to sit and play with their baby all day, talking baby talk, and putting the needs of themselves very last. I wouldn't ever, ever trade it. There's no where else I'd rather be, any day of the week. I think that what matters in this life is how we treat the gifts we are given. How did you treat your children? How did you treat your husband or wife? How did you show them you love them? Sure you told them, but did you show them? Did you spend time with them? If you can't answer these questions, then I truly feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for the beautiful things in life that you are missing out on. Certain things in this life MATTER, other things do not.

July

August

September

October

November

December

January

Cry baby.

2011-01-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

This is what the last few days have consisted of. Yes, I did take the time to take a picture of my crying child.

I did have two babies in the house all by myself the other day. I was successful.

Here are some pictures of Ryker tonight.

Don't judge me for the angle my baby's neck is at.

Really late the other night, Brandon had to run out. He came into the living room in this garb seen above. I said something like, "It's a good thing you've got me to match your clothes in the day."

"What are you talking about?" he asks.

"You don't match at all," I say.

He points to his hat. "Football," he says.

He points to his sweatshirt. "Football," he says.

He points to his pants. "Football," he says.

I love him.

Great things

2011-01-12T09:49:00.000-08:00

I love the facial expressions on both of these pictures. I cut myself out of this picture. My face was not a happening thing this day.

I don't know what the fascination is with this kid's tongue. People always ask me why he sticks his tongue out all the time. I always say it's because he wants to taste the situation. Or maybe he just wants to lick you.

These are the grandkids on my side, from oldest to youngest.

Sophie has a very beautiful olive skin tone.

Kisses for Daddy. They are very alike, you know, Brandon and Ryker. They both cry over the same things, they both demand being fed at regular intervals, they both require the same amount of attention, and they both like to be held all day.

Nothing is finer than being home with Lover boy. Work is totally manageable when you only have to go two or three days a week. I so look forward to my "Friday" nights when I lay on the couch with Ryker and Brandon and watch a show, thinking how nice it is that I can stay up as late as I want and sleep in as late as I want. Thanks in part to Ryker, who is an amazing sleeper. Then we get up, laze around for awhile, get dressed, go eat lunch with Brandon, and then spend the rest of the day playing. It's the best thing ever. We've got some good things to look forward to also:

1. Eddy Day. This is the 5th Annual Eddy Day extravaganza. We made up Eddy Day when we were first married. It arrives every year on January 24th. Why? Because January sucks the life out of me, and we should have something to celebrate. So we celebrate the greatness of us and give gifts and go to dinner.

2. Brandon's Spring Break. We are going to go on vacation somewhere with our tax return, and we've narrowed down the choices to DisneyWorld or Maui. Or maybe Washington D.C. Or maybe North Carolina. Or maybe Charleston, South Carolina. Or Myrtle Beach. Or the moon. Or in the campground known as the backyard. Ha ha. I don't understand people who don't vacation. My whole life has been spent looking forward to the next place I'm going to visit. Thankfully this is something that Brandon picked up since we've been married. We've been on some amazing trips in the last almost 5 years (yes, we've been married almost 5 years!) because we make vacations priorities. Extra money=vacations. My dream job would be a professional traveler. I would be great at it.

Adios, for now.

Good, Better, Best

2011-01-05T19:46:00.001-08:00

Twice a day, on average, for the past 725.4 days, Brandon has asked me for a new TV. The conversation goes something like this:

Brandon: Can I get a new TV?

Me: We don't need a new TV. We have a nice one that we worked hard to pay for.

Brandon: But I need a new one. Our TV can only manage 720, (whatever the heck that means) and I need one that is 1080 capable.

Me: Our TV has a great picture though.

Brandon: Think of the blu-ray player. It can never reach its full potential until it has a TV that can help it reach what it is capable of. Picture-perfect clarity.

Me: So this is about potential?

Brandon: Yes, don't harsh the gig of the blu-ray. It needs to live up to what it was born for.

So on New Year's we went to BestBuy, which is dangerous, especially since we paid off all our consumer debt 3 hours before. Needless to say, we found a killer deal on a 55 INCH SAMSUNG 1080p LCD TV. Toot! (that was the sound of the toot of my own horn).

I admit, I was a skeptic with the TV. But then we turned it on and Oh. My. Goodness. Let it be known, I actually think my husband was right about this purchase. I'll have to record this in my journal.

Dear Journal,

Today my husband was right.

Feel free to come watch a movie anytime and experience the magic.

GOOD

This is our original TV. He is sad and lonely now.

BETTER

(Yes, this TV is in my bedroom. It's quite the theater experience lying/laying/looing in bed.)

BEST

(By the way, the placement of this TV goes completely against my moral code. It's in my front living room, and I swore I never would put a TV in my front room.)

p.s. Please don't break into my house and steal my TV.

Goodbye, pie.

2010-12-28T21:52:00.000-08:00

Banana Cream Pie

December 25, 2010- December 28, 2010

I will miss you, banana cream pie that I finished today. You were perfectly smooth, with no chunks of bananas. You had the perfect crust, and the perfect amount of nuts on top. Your whipped cream was so beautifully decorative. I will strive to find a banana cream pie like you in the future, but know that you were always the one I loved the most. Even though you are gone now, I will forever remember the good times we had together. The laughs, the tears, the time alone we spent by the Christmas tree. I remember when you were just a baby and I tenderly placed you in the fridge, away from anything that would harm you. I made sure you were away from the onions that could impose their flavor upon you, and away from the meat who might drip blood on you. Those times are just a memory now. Thank you for sharing your love and your creamy cool center. Rest in peace, old friend.

And now, some other things...

Ryker and Sophie had their first business meeting today. The subjects on the docket were Roth IRAs, hedge funds, and how to gain higher yields on their investments.

The business meeting ended with a friendly handshake. Any business meeting where no ones poops on each other or rolls over and crushes the other is never a bad thing.

Finally. A way for Ryker and Brandon to communicate. It's perfect. I should have known already.

Ryker the Candy Thief and Baby Sophie

2010-12-27T15:44:00.000-08:00

This is our beautiful new niece, Sophie Rae Stephens. She was born yesterday at exactly 4:00. She weighed 6 lbs. 13 oz. (only half an ounce shy of what Ryker was.) We are so happy for David and Erica!

We have a big bowl of Christmas candy on our table. The other morning I put Ryker on the table in his chair while I went into the kitchen and got some cereal. When I came back, my child was trying to thieve my candy.

He was frustrated with this package because he couldn't get it open.

What a naughty child.

I tried to get a nice picture of him on Christmas with the tree in the background, but he wouldn't cooperate. He must be his father's child.

What a cute baby. Too bad I smell something gnarly near his tail end and have to go change him now.

So this is Christmas...

2010-12-25T17:47:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas come and gone. I should be using this time to clean up the gigantic mess waiting in the kitchen for me. Instead, while everyone is taking a nap, I'm eating banana cream pie and listening to Christmas music. We had quite the feast tonight. I've never made a big Christmas dinner for us, but tonight we had turkey, stuffing and mashed potatoes (thanks Mom), sweet potatoes, rolls, corn, and pie. It was delicious. Brandon has to work tonight from 10 until 6 tomorrow morning. Boo. Looks like I'll be watching The Muppet's Christmas Carol by my lonesome. Laugh if you want, but I've been searching for this movie. It was something we used to watch when we were little. Brandon found it and got it for me for Christmas.

As of yesterday, I was just not feeling that good old Christmas spirit. Stupid weather. So we drove up to Snowbasin where there was snow and went into the lodge and got some hot chocolate with David and Erica. It put me in the right Christmas mood.

THIS is a picture of the white elephants Brandon and I gave at my family's Christmas party. Don't you wish that you were the lucky recipient of one of these fine keepsakes?

Pajama Pants and Sausage Fingers

2010-12-22T21:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday at school, I was playing a Christmas song trivia with my kids. I would say the line of a song, and then they had to tell me what came next. Here's how it went:

Me: I'm dreaming of a white Christmas with every.....?

All the kids are raising their hands, answering things like, " With everyone!" and "With every friend!" Then one of my boys innocently hilarious boys raises his hand and says,

"With every girl in town!"

So funny.

Anyway, here are some things going around here:

1. As long as I live, I'm never going back to work full time. I love being home. I love playing with Ryker all day and going about my business at home. It's the best thing ever. Somebody asked me the other day if I look forward to the days I get out of the house and work. The answer is a big fat NO.

2. Brandon had a toothache last week. It was hurting him so bad, he had to get into the dentist immediately. When he went, they had to extract the tooth (which was a molar). As a few days went on, the pain kept getting worse and worse. We got online and looked some things up, and I got a flashlight and looked into his mouth. In the place where the tooth had been, there was a straight gaping hole to the bone. Upon further review, we determined this was dry socket. The dentist was SO nice and told us to meet him at the office on Sunday afternoon, where he packed the socket with this weird smelling stuff. He's feeling better, but I've never seen anybody in so much pain. Poor dude.

3. My sister-in-law told me I should write a book about my life with Brandon. She said it would be really funny. But then Brandon said he would sue me, so I guess I'll have to wait until he dies. Or I kill him. Whichever comes first.

4. Ryker started waking up in the night again a few weeks ago. I decided he was doing this on purpose to get back at me because he sucked on a pink binky for a few weeks and because he knows I no longer actually stay up to feed him, I just put him in bed with me and go back to sleep while he eats. Then he conveniently falls asleep cuddled up with me. Doesn't even have the courtesy to get up and go back to his crib. This child is a cunning one. So I decided to refuse to feed my child in the night. (It's fine everyone, his little sausage fingers can't dial DCFS, no worries.) I know he can go 9 or 10 hours at night. So all I do is get up and pop the binky in his mouth, and he goes back to sleep for 4 or 5 hours. Crisis averted.

5. Brandon has been accusing me of wearing his pajama pants in public. Fine, I'll admit, it's true. But you see, when I wear my pajama pants, I can't leave the house in them, because that's just kind of trashy. But when I put on his pajama pants, I feel like this is an acceptable form of outerwear that I can do a multitude of things in outside my house, while still being comfortable. It's perfectly logical, and something everyone should consider when going out in public. "Is that girl wearing pajamas? Oh, no, how silly, they look like her husband's pajama pants. That does look classy indeed, I should try that sometime."

6. I like that my brother David lives only up the street from me. Him and Erica come over on my days off and hilarity ensues.

Here's some pictures of Ryker today.

A bad case of dripping snot.

Eventually I'll get dressed today.

2010-12-16T10:56:00.000-08:00

On my days off, I can either be dressed before noon or have a clean house. I cannot do both. Today I chose to have a clean house. That's why it's lunchtime and I'm still in my pajamas. Plus, Lover needed someone to play with. Here's some pictures I took of him today.

I do have a funny 2nd grade story to tell today. I've had some really funny kids in my classes in the past years, and there are some funny kids this year, but more of a funny in a very bewildering way. Anyway, one of my girls lost her Chapstick on the floor the other day. So I said, "Everyone look around on the floor for some BLUE Chapstick." So everyone's looking around for the elusive blue Chapstick. I see on of my boys with a triumphant look on his face walking over to the girl with something in his hand. Of course, I assumed it was the Chapstick. He opens his hand, and therein lies blue scissors. He tries to hand the scissors to her. I say, "Those are SCISSORS. We are looking for CHAPSTICK." And he gives me this look, like this confused, bewildered look, like I don't know what I'm talking about. And then he looks in his hand, and realizes, oh, this is INDEED not Chapstick. And with another completely confused look, he takes his seat. It was a weird thing to witness that leaves you scratching your head and laughing at the same time.

I had another kid this week raise his hand as he was looking at a book that I had marked with my name and ask me "Teacher, (I hate being called Teacher) what does E-D-D-Y spell?"

"It spells Eddy," I said.

Confused look.

"That's my last name," I said.

Confused stare continues for approximately 7 seconds, then he goes back to work. I guess he'll just continue to call me "teacher".

Baby Bear and Temple Square

2010-12-08T15:00:00.001-08:00

This is my baby bear. I bought him this little hat and mittens. I laughed for a long time when I tried it on him.

We also went to Temple Square last weekend to see the lights with Kira and Justin. We had a fun time with them. We ate at Five Guys, which was delicious. But I'm starting to think that perhaps the future Christmas-time Temple Square visits are going to dwindle for us. Talk about loads of people and no parking. Anyway, here are some cute pictures we took.

I like this picture because I think that it looks like there is fire behind them.

It wasn't very cold, but it did rain on us.

Ryker stayed really warm in his carseat. That sheepskin cover keeps the heat in like you wouldn't believe.

Here's a little of what's going on lately (even more lately than last week):

Brandon finished this semester of school. Woot! He sold his books back and then we used the money to go out and eat ourselves into a coma.

Our house has yet to be sold. (Just in case you were wondering, ha ha). It has now been for sale for 18 MONTHS. Kill me.

My seasonal sadness has started early this year. It usually doesn't start until January 2nd (which is the worst day of the year, because from there on out there's really nothing to give you hope until spring). I think I need to go to Maui to solve this problem. Ha.

My goal this week is to replace all my blinds with curtains. Brandon kills bugs against the blinds for some reason, and there is not one window that doesn't have at least 3 broken blinds. Don't feel too bad for the blinds though, since they cost me like $3 a piece 3 years ago.

Till next time....

Updates and stuff

2010-12-03T20:04:00.000-08:00

This is our Christmas tree this year. As you can see, it's blue and white. Did you really think my husband would allow me to put red decorations on my green Christmas tree?

Lover and I had a wonderful day of playing.

Here is a sample of Ryker's antics tonight. Hopefully the video works. Brandon was playing peek-a-boo and Ryker thought that was the funniest thing he'd ever seen. He's been like this all day: giggling at everything, screaming just to hear his own voice, smiling, sticking his tongue out, and babbling on and on. Funny baby.

Today was a really good day. I felt the best I've felt for about 4 months. Obviously this has been a slow process. Some days are good, some days are very bad. Nights are usually the worst for me. That's when the things in the very dark corners of your subconscious try to make an appearance in your thoughts. It doesn't scare me like it once did though. What amazes me is how many people have told me that they went through the same thing, and that they struggled through it alone. We must change this. I was looking back through my planner at school, and I made notes to myself over the last couple of months. Like pick-me-up notes. It made me sad, because I remember those moments and how low and dark I felt, and that I waited so long to get help. Sometimes we cannot do it alone. God gave us brains, medicine, and doctors for a reason. Today, I am grateful for antidepressants. Mock if you must, judge if you want, be an unbeliever, fine, whatever, but the change has been phenomenal. It's a wonderful thing to be able to get out of bed and feel hopeful, to not be afraid to be around your baby, and to spend the entire afternoon on the floor with him playing and laughing, and enjoying and cherishing every moment of it. This is what I did today. I wouldn't trade today for anything. These things are not to be underestimated. Anyway, let's move on. I can't stand people who toot their own horn, and I've done enough tooting.

Here's what's been going on around here lately:

Ryker is going to be 5 months old this month. He was almost 15 pounds at the doctor's a few weeks ago. He's getting so big.
BYU football season is over. Let's leave it at that.
I am so excited for Christmas. I wrapped lights all around our bed. Brandon thought it was the most ghetto thing ever. He's just jealous he didn't come up with the Christmas bed idea first. Our house is very Christmasy this year. It's full of lights and decorations everywhere.
Brandon is almost done with school for the semester. Woot! He works hard for us. Going to school full time and working full time leaves him very tired. He is the best.
Ryker goes to bed at 9 every night. He generally sleeps until 6. Then I feed him and he goes back to bed until around 8:30 or 9. Sleeping in is something I cherish. Ryker must have known this while he was still in heaven.
You know what I eat twice a day and never get sick of? Cereal. A nice bowl of good sugary cereal. Maybe I should get some right now.
Now that the boys of the house are asleep, it's time for me to go to the store.

Later.

Cozy

2010-11-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

Ryker is gearing up for Christmas.

We had Thanksgiving with Brandon's family this year. Good food and good company. Ryker's favorite part was when I accidentally dumped Dr. Pepper on his head. True story.

We are cheering for daddy in his Thanksgiving pickup basketball game.

Here's just a few pictures that I've liked the past few days.

We are cozy in our house today, watching the snow fall and roaming around in our pajamas, alternating between the warm bed and the couch. All three of us are home. This is my favorite kind of day. I am heading back to work tomorrow after being off for 3 weeks to recuperate my sanity. Today when I woke up, I told Brandon that everything is canceled today, and we were staying home together as a family. I think this is one of his dreams, waking up on Sunday morning and having me tell him we aren't going anywhere. We are glad to be warm and cozy today!

The Ugly Truth

2010-11-18T17:13:00.000-08:00

Where have I been?

Well, let me tell you a story....

It started as a thought.

I was standing at the back of my classroom one day, and this thought rudely and intrusively interrupted my thought process. A thought that made my knees buckle and made me ask myself "WHAT is that doing there?" Right then and there I made a pact with myself to never tell anyone about it. What would they think of me? Would they put me in a mental hospital? Would they take my baby away?

And then they kept coming.

The thoughts kept coming for 7 solid weeks. They made me question my sanity. They made me question my ability to be allowed to be a human being walking on this earth, let alone a mother and a wife to people who depend on me to take care and love them.

7 weeks. They kept me up at night. They gave me stomachaches. They made me nauseated. They made me lose 10 pounds. They made me grind my teeth all day long. They made me afraid to pick up my own baby. They made me afraid to get out of bed in the morning. They affected my job, my marriage, my relationships with others, and my health.

And then came the drop. The nosedive. The darkness that completely enveloped my body and my mind was absolutely suffocating. I would sit on the couch every night and be completely consumed with fear and self-loathing panic. But, I couldn't tell anyone. I couldn't be embarrassed like that.

And so I waited in silence. Waited to just magically feel happy again. Waited to just wake up one day and feel all better. If only I had "enough faith", I could get through this...

But it didn't happen. It only got worse. I felt like Satan himself knew my address and had a key to my front door. 7 long weeks.

I know what you're thinking. Lisa, you idiot, why didn't you tell someone? Well, because I'm dumb, that's why. And I honestly just thought that I had gone crazy. I didn't know what it was.

Finally, I could take it no longer. I sent an email to my very understanding and very non-judgemental mother-in-law. I told her what I was feeling. "Lisa," she said, "you have post-partum depression, and you need to get help NOW." She made me call the doctor.

And so I did.

They put me on some medication and told me to call if things got worse.

I went to school the next Monday. I shook all day. My stomach cramped. I couldn't get my thoughts straight.

And then...

I broke.

I left my classroom and walked down the hall. I almost made it to the office, but what would they think? So I turned around.

I did this two or three times. (You're on the edge of your seat, I know.)

Don't worry, because eventually I made that step and went and found someone.

Within an hour, I was in the doctor's office. I was ordered to immediately take a leave from work, to see a psychologist the very next day (and subsequent sessions after that), to have my medication dosage increased, and to NOT BE ALONE. This was last Monday. I was actually very afraid they were going to make me stay in the hospital. That would have been traumatizing.

It's been a very hard, very humbling week.

The hard part is that I'm a private person. I don't like to share feelings. I think it's dumb. It's embarrassing for me, especially because I know what people who are outside of the situation say- she's crazy, she's just looking for an excuse, she just doesn't want to work, and on and on.

So here is why I share this.

I share this because POST-PARTUM DEPRESSION IS REAL. It's more real than anything I've ever felt. And if you don't talk to someone, it DOES NOT go away. It gets worse. Do not let it spiral out of control like I did.

Know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

I don't think it gets talked about enough. I don't think that enough people know about it, and the shame that accompanies it is unbearable. It makes you feel like you are nothing, like you are insane, and that no one will understand.

Please talk to someone. It scares me to think what might have happened had I waited one more day.

I will be forever grateful to Paula and to Kira who listened to me, checked on me, and who kept my secrets.

Anyway, things are getting better. Slowly and surely, they are getting better.

The Good Old Days

2010-11-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

Kitty Cat

2010-11-04T17:28:00.001-07:00

I bought Ryker a little kitty cat the other day when we were out to lunch. That's right, out to lunch, in the middle of the day, on a weekday. We even walked to our lunch destination, which was the hospital cafe. This is where I usually go to lunch if I'm home and I want to go to lunch. I'm weird, I know. It was a beautiful fall stroll. I'm liking this part-time business. I've been to the gym two mornings in a row now too. I'm glad my mental well-being will return. I've sure missed it. Anyway, here is Ryker with his kitty.

Brandon the RED

2010-11-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

The man himself.

This morning Brandon called me at work. The conversation went something like this:

Brandon: Guess what I'm doing right now?

Me: I don't know.

Brandon: I'M WALKING TO WORK!!! (neighbors awaken upon hearing profanities yelled up and down the street)

Me: Why are you walking to work?

Brandon: BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALL SETS OF KEYS IN YOUR PURSE!!!!

I will not finish this conversation, because, well, it wasn't pretty. You see, my husband, he is RED. Fiery, blazing, scorching RED. He is a excellent husband and father, but I get my laughs when I make fun of him via blog. Don't worry, he proofreads everything and laughs with me (mainly because he knows it's all true).

When you are with Brandon, you must automatically assume two things.

1) You are wrong.

2) And it's your fault.

I learned this quickly when we got married. Late one night I was fast asleep in our apartment. Suddenly, the lights in the bedroom fly on.

Brandon: WHERE ARE ALL THE PEANUT M&Ms?!!!!!!

Me: (middle of the night confusion) What? (Actually, I knew immediately where they were. I had eaten them all.)

Brandon: YOU ATE THE WHOLE BAG?!!! YOU ARE SO SELFISH!!!!! (lights off, door slams, it ended as quickly as it began)

Yesterday morning at about 7:00 I hear profanities from the kitchen.

Brandon: OH NO!!!!

Me: What?!

Brandon: I accidentally used your toothbrush!!

Me: Oh great!

Brandon: Well if YOU would have taken my toothbrush out of the bag, I wouldn't have used your toothbrush on accident. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!

Later on last night, I ask for him to mute the TV while we read scriptures.

Brandon: I don't know where the remote control is.

Me: Well, I don't have it.

Brandon: Did I SAY you had it?! Why are you trying to pick a fight?!!!

Me: I'm not, I'm just saying I don't have it, and your tone indicated that I had it.

Brandon: Oh, well you're perfect then.

Me: I never said that.

Brandon: You have NO IDEA how hard you are to live with. (I am not even joking, this is what he says to me.)

And then I laughed until I went to sleep.

Tonight, we were coming home from doing a little Christmas shopping. I was out of mint chocolate chip ice cream and hot fudge. I am a mint chocolate chip snob, and I will only eat Farr's. The conversation went like this:

Me: Will you please stop at Macey's so we can get some more mint chocolate chip and hot fudge?

Brandon: Ugh.

Me: Pleeeeeze? I really want some.

Brandon: Why do you ALWAYS try and push your will against mine?

Me: But I really want some ice cream.

Brandon: This is not about ice cream. This is about will. You always have to go against me.

Needless to say, after much persuading, he did stop. The real question of the night is how do I tell him that he forgot to buy hot fudge?

Beauty

2010-10-18T15:34:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about the beauty of the earth today. I've seen some beautiful things in my life. Obviously, I haven't been everywhere. I've never been out of the country. But so far, in my 25.5 years of life, these are the things I think everyone should see before they die. Since beauty is so subjective, I can't really say that something is more beautiful than something else, because everything has its own beauty. These are all the ones I could think of today, and they are in no particular order.

#1 Zion National Park. This is the only picture I didn't take myself. It truly takes your breath away.

#2 Ka'anapali Beach in Maui. The water was as clear and as warm as a swimming pool.

#3 The flowers at Pike's Market in Seattle. I've never seen anything like it.

#4- The black sand beach along the Road to Hana in Maui.

#5- The waterfalls along the Road to Hana.

#6- Haleakala Crater. I don't know why they call it a crater, since it's actually a giant volcano.

#7- The Road to Hana. (Yes, I know I've already put two of these in here.)

#8- The falls in Yellowstone. It made my jaw drop.

#9- Sunset in the San Juan Islands.

#10- The high Uintas. It's one of my favorite places in the world.

#11- The view from Baldy in the Uintas. I can't believe I let Brandon stand that close to the edge.

#12- Airlie Gardens. Our NC friends probably laugh at this, but it's one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. We just don't have gardens like that in Utah.

#13- A tunnel of live oaks. You feel like you stepped back in time.

#14- The Outer Banks. I felt like I would see a schooner any minute on the horizon. It was amazing.

A Fall Ride and the Friend in the Mirror

2010-10-16T21:46:00.000-07:00

I went on a ride today up Farmington Canyon on the four wheeler. These are a few of my favorite pictures that we took. I feel like I've been in a bit of funk lately. I'm still waiting to start my part-time hours at school, and we listed our house with an agent AGAIN. So I've felt discouraged. My dad promised that I would feel rejuvenated if I came, and he was right. It was a rejuvenation like a nice drink of water on a hot day.

On a different note...

Ryker has discovered that he has a friend in the mirror that he likes to visit with. Whenever he sees him he smiles and gets all excited and looks his friend right in the eye.

9 hours.

2010-10-15T05:38:00.000-07:00

Poor baby.

I'll admit it. I let him suck his thumb.

This kid's tongue is always waggling around. It's especially funny when you try and kiss him and he licks you instead.

I woke up this morning and looked at the clock. It said 5:47. I heard Ryker grunting. I put him down last night at 9:00. "Did you get up with Lover?" I asked Brandon. "No," he said. Do you know what this means? This means that he slept for almost 9 hours. That means that we could have potentially had 9 hours of sleep (like we really go to bed at 9:00).

p.s. Brandon got suspended from posting on Cougarboard for a day. HA HA HA HA. At first I was a little embarrassed for him, but then he showed me what he wrote and all I did was laugh and imagine what the guy that turned him in is like. I'm sure he lives in Utah county, is the elder's quorum president, his favorite movie is "Saturday's Warrior", and he makes his family stay in church clothes on Sunday. (Sorry, if you meet all the above criteria just by chance).

Monday Musings

2010-10-11T18:21:00.001-07:00

This is Gandalf T. Grey the Terrorist. My tile has mud on it and my house smells like dog. Look at him, thinking he owns the house and that he must be really something if I cover the couch with sheets before he lays on it.

This is Lover. He is going to be 3 months old next week. You can't see it, but there's a fox on his shirt and it says "My mom is a fox". Hilarious.

Perhaps I should share a conversation I had at school today.

Student: Mrs. E, I need to talk to you.

Me (as I was reading with a small group): Is it important enough to stop this whole group while you tell it to me?

Student (whispering): Yes.

Me (impatiently): What?

Student(whispering): I made up names for all my dinosaurs.

I was proud of myself today. You see, I successfully coerced my OB back in the summer into inducing me by a single deadly look. Ask Brandon, it's true. Anyway, I have worked many years on this deadly look. Today, I stopped one of my usually unstoppable second graders dead in his tracks by one look. It. Was. Amazing. What is the highest level in the Hierarchy of Needs? Isn't it self-actualization? Yes, I think so. I'm pretty sure I'm there now.

The end.

Gandalf the Terrorist and the Dog-Bed Baby

2010-10-03T19:28:00.000-07:00

My aunt Maryanne took some beautiful pictures when we blessed Ryker. Here are some of our favorites.

We went on a drive today...

...what we failed to mention was who drove. Ha ha.

Actually, we went up to Snowbasin to see the leaves and had a "Brandon style picnic". Which would be a picnic in the car.

Do you know why he was so happy? It's because it was General Conference, and we stayed home in our pajamas and ate peanut butter cookies. Okay fine, I ate them.

Rub a dub dub.

I have a confession to make. Gandalf T. Grey (the schnauzer) came to live at our house because my mom and dad don't love him anymore. Ha ha. Kidding. Really it's because he's a terrorist, or so my dad says, and their security was being threatened. Anyway, they bought him a big huge dog bed. He doesn't like it. So I was looking at it and I was thinking how comfortable that would be for a small creature such as a mini schnauzer, or...wait a minute...even... a baby. So I covered it with a blanket and put Lover in it, and there he took the best nap of his life (as seen in the above picture).

Don't judge me.

Ryker's Blessing and Questions? Answers! Part Deux

2010-09-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

We blessed Ryker on Sunday. I don't know if our ward has ever had that many visitors at one time. Thank you to all the family and friends that came and supported us (over 70 people).

And now, time for some Q and A with myself...

Q: Lisa, I was looking online today and I noticed there was a part time 2nd grade teacher opening at your school. Did you kill someone?

A: I did not. My husband started to fear dying in his sleep if he didn't let me cut down to part time.

Q: Won't you be hungry from lack of all that money you make as a teacher?

A: Of course not, people eat grass all the time. Kidding of course, I actually made Brandon sell both his kidneys.

Q: Speaking of Brandon, what is he up to?

A: About 5'9"

Q: Why wasn't Ryker's blessing outfit white for Sunday?

A: Because I'm untraditional. Plus I think white is girly, and my baby is a MAN CHILD whose masculinity shall not be compromised.

Q: What's the neuroticism focus this week?

A: Flat heads. I'm very concerned Ryker is going to have a flat head and have to wear one of those helmets.

Q: How's your diet and exercise program going?

A: In short, it's not. I have a problem and I'm not afraid to admit it. I was born with a medical need of a daily dessert. It's true. If I do not have a something sweet and chocolately daily, I get the shakes. It's a terrible diagnosis, and unfortunately, it's terminal.

Q: Don't you think that you should be cleaning your house right now, especially because your baby is asleep and your husband is at work?

A: Of course not, it's Monday. I never clean on Mondays. It would only make Mondays worse. Thursday is cleaning day. Thursdays I clean so that Fridays I can come home and relax for the weekend and not have to clean. It's a very complicated system. If I get off schedule it could potentially screw up my whole week.

Q: How is Brandon's "problem"?

A: Unfortunately things are getting worse. I asked him if he had a good time at the game the other night after BYU had lost, and he told me to quit nagging him and go to bed. The next morning I found actual written notes he had taken of different players' stats so he could use them whilst staying up all night on Cougarboard. At that point, all I could do was pity him.

Q: You are so witty as always. Just one more question. What are you most excited about tonight?

A: I am excited about the sickeningly big (but still believable) black rubber spider that I took away from one of my kids at school that I have carefully placed in the corner behind the toilet for Brandon to see when he gets home. It will be hilarious. He's easy to scare, he hates spiders, and he screams like a girl. Trifecta, you betcha.

Welcome back to me...

2010-09-21T20:04:00.000-07:00

I went back to school Monday. Here's how it's gone so far. Unfortunately it's only Tuesday (IT'S ONLY TUESDAY.)

Monday:

9:20 a.m. I keep hearing ninja sounds (oof! ahh! pow!) I find the culprit. "Who are you fighting?" I ask. He gives me a blank look, as if he had no idea what I was talking about.

10:00 a.m. We were writing with dry-erase markers on our desks to practice spelling (they erase perfectly off desks). Half of my kids end up with orange marker around their nostrils because of the various sniffing of the orange dry-erase markers. Apparently they smelled like oranges.

10:30 a.m. I survived until recess.

11:43 a.m. I am asked if I am 37 years old.

12:50 p.m. Boy leans his head over his desk and proceeds to shake a pound of sand from his hair onto his desk. "WHY is there sand in your hair?" I ask. He gives me a look of exasperation, like I'm a little dense. "There's always sand in my hair after recess!" he says. Apparently putting handfuls or sand into our hair is a normal activity for 2nd grade.

12:55 p.m. We're reading the Wayside School book. There's a teacher that turns her students into apples and tries to eat them. Someone lets out a high-pitched scream right there in our reading circle.

1:00 p.m. My math book wants me to teach a 90 minute lesson (90 MINUTES!) on adding with our fingers. Try doing this for 90 minutes.

3:05 p.m. I lived.

Tuesday:

We had a field trip to Antelope Island and learned how to be pioneers on the ranch. Here is a sample of a conversation I had with one of my kids (remember my sense of humor):

Student: I'm so hungry. Did they bring our lunch?

Me: Didn't you hear? We have to hunt bison for our lunch.

Student: WHAT?!! I don't know how to hunt!

Me: Well that's why they gave you an indian arrowhead when we came in. I hope your aim is good.

Student: But I don't like the taste of buffalo! (fyi: buffalo don't live in North America, they live in Asia and Africa. Bison live in North America. I learned this today.)

Me: Well the pioneers couldn't be picky, could they?

Student: Please don't make me eat a buffalo. (at this point in my child-teasing routine I usually laugh and give a wink, just in case you're thinking I'm cruel)

2nd graders are hard to joke and tease with. They stare at me like I'm the stupidest person alive when I try to be funny. I once thought I could make kids laugh, but now my gig has been harshed. I don't know if I'll ever be the same.

The Cuteness is Overwhelming.

2010-09-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

Ryker loves to have the washcloth put on his head while he's having a bath.

I am somewhat biased, but I'm pretty sure my baby is the cutest thing ever to grace this earth. Don't even deny it. He's got a very nice symmetrical face and big beautiful eyes. Coincidentally, if you look in the dictionary under "beautiful" you will see Ryker's picture. Just sayin'.

A Day in the Life...during football season

2010-09-14T09:51:00.000-07:00

This is John Beck, former BYU quarterback, who was drafted to the Dolphins (Brandon's favorite NFL team). We ran into him in the airport once and Brandon ran after him. Our plane left at 6 a.m. This picture was taken literally around 4:30 in the morning. Poor John Beck.

My husband is what you might call...intense. Obsessive perhaps. Exhausting sometimes. Let's just combine the three and call him EXTENSIVE. I told him yesterday I was going to write what my life was like during college football season. He laughed and said I'd have to embellish it a little. I laughed and said it doesn't need embellishing.

Let's start with Saturdays:

He wakes up with the nervous shakes. He wakes me up by yelling "WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" in my face.
Next he races to the paper/internet to read the scoop on who's favored to win the game. He texts everyone he knows something like "Rise and Shout!!" or "Go Cougars!!"
He then lays out every Cougar shirt he owns to pick the right one. This year he had one specially made with Max Hall's quote on the back: "I hate Utah. I hate everything about them..." $25 for a t-shirt. Thanks.
He leaves for the game to meet up with all the other Eddy men, this year my dad goes too. I can't quite put into words what happens at the game exactly, I have only seen it once, and I would describe it as a kind of hysterical euphoria.
On the way home from the game, he listens to the postgame show. This is fine, except that no one in the car is allowed to talk. It's a very long drive from Provo. Once he even called in and got on the radio.
Depending on the outcome of the game, I can expect what kind of mood will arrive with him when he gets home. If they have lost, there's usually very little conversation.
He will not go to bed until he has seen the highlights from the game that he just attended on ESPN. This is a perk to not having TV anymore. Downside, now he peruses the internet for hours looking for every bit of footage from the game in its entirety.

The rest of the week:

He talks to everyone at church who will listen about the Cougars.
He frequents (and when I say frequent, I mean like about as much as a pregnant woman pees in the day) the Cougar Board website.
He talks to Every. Single. Person. in his phone that is also a Cougar fan and wants to talk about the Cougars. Sometimes more than once a day.
He gets angry at people on Facebook/TV/newspaper who do not like the Cougars ("There's no such thing as a Utah fan, only a Cougar hater!")
He watches press conferences. Not even recent ones. He watches old ones on YouTube also.
Our conversations are generally dominated by football. I was telling him one day about my maternity leave pay, and he stopped me midsentence, no joke, and told me that he just couldn't believe that "backstabbing Fresno State".
I. Almost. Killed. Him. when BYU was trying to go independent. I finally just gave up trying to talk about anything else (i.e. our child)
There's generally a new issue that also dominates the week. This week it's Jake Heaps vs. Riley Nelson as quarterback. This is what I hear/see/read all week until the new issue arises from the next game.
He can tell you any stat, any date, any player, any game that something happened in. ( "Oh my word, that's the same pass play they used in the 1981 game against New Mexico!")
He limits the amount of red Ryker wears (not even lying). If he has on a red outfit, I usually get a response like, "Why is my child in Satan's color?"
He tried to teach my nephew about Satan and Jesus using the U of U and BYU.
He absolutely will not, under any condition, allow us to wear any other color but blue on game days.
Brandon suggested "Lavell" as our child's middle name. I told him no.
His dying wish is to be buried under the 50-yard line at Lavell Edwards Stadium.

You might think this is embellished, I promise, it is not. Ask the people who are around who also want to hurt him during this time of year. This does not stop until at least a month after the season has ended. This is my life. Please help. It exhausts me. I am a Cougar fan, yes, but Brandon is an EXTENSIVE Cougar Fan.

Thanks for listening and Rise and Shout (he made me put that).

Lover

2010-09-11T19:44:00.000-07:00

When we talk about Ryker at our house, we refer to him as "Lover". Like "How did Lover sleep last night?" and "Put Lover in his car seat" and "Look at the load that Lover just left in his pants".

Today was Day 1 of my exercise program. Woo. I ran about a mile. Downhill. I know. Be impressed by the sheer distance. When I got home I thought my legs were going to fall off. This is ridiculous. I've run for a few years now and a lot of miles, but this is just embarrassing. I will begin again on Monday. What I need is a motivator. Like someone to exercise with. Brandon makes fun of me and my "Stephens athletic ability", which is an oxymoron, because Stephens' don't have athletic ability. Rude.

Later.

11 Thoughts for Friday

2010-09-10T11:35:00.000-07:00

1. I had the most depressing time at Kohl's yesterday looking for clothes. I have got to lose this last 15 pounds. I have not one pair of jeans that fits me without giving me serious love handle overhang.

2. I would give almost anything to not have to go back to work (excluding my first born and my body). I envy you that can afford to stay home with your babies.

3. I hate thunder and lightning. It gives me the nervous twitches.

4. We got rid of our TV service recently. Weird at first, but what a difference it has made in our home life.

5. Ryker is the model baby. I kid you not. He only cries when he's hungry and when he's lonely. He has now slept through the night for 2 nights in a row (woo!) and I hate to say this, but I honestly haven't felt sleep deprived since his first week of life. Life is good. (Before you get too down, when I say "through the night", I in no way mean 12 hours, I mean more like 11:00 to 5:30ish, and then goes back to sleep until 8 or 9. I go back to sleep too, for the record. Thank you, Babywise.)

6. I hope that my neurotic fear of SIDS lessens eventually. I force myself to get up every 5 minutes and check Ryker while I can physically stay awake.

7. I think the best and hottest Superman was Dean Cain.

8. I have a bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with hot fudge every single day. Maybe this is why those 15 pounds are such a problem.

9. Ryker is the loudest baby farter you've ever heard. I've actually had to tell people in church that it was him, not me.

10. I hope Reader's Digest comes today.

11. My husband is the bee's knees.

Sadness.

2010-09-08T17:34:00.001-07:00

Only semi-sadness here.
Very sad.

We've been trying to get "the lip" on picture for 7 weeks. Finally. Who can resist that face?